Six Things I Wish I Knew as a First Year

As I enter my senior year, I’d like to reflect on what I have learned on the way. If I could write to my younger self as he got off the plane in Newark, I’d share thoughts to reassure that confused and anxious first-year. If you are just starting your Princeton journey, take whichever piece of advice strikes you the most and hold onto it. You might need it!

Approach Princeton with intentionality

The first step to getting the most out of your time is to deliberately define what a rewarding college experience looks like for you — and allow for change. This definition varies from person to person and will likely evolve between orientation week and commencement. What fulfillment looks like should probably not be a straightforward question but rather an ongoing process. While solid planning supports intentions, allowing for life to pan out differently than we might’ve imagined can be a wonderful thing! It’s not the plan itself that matters. What matters is actively engaging in the process of determining the next steps and considering why they are appropriate. Princeton has so much to offer and, before you know it, you might inadvertently wander from one opportunity to another with no real purpose. Let your values, interests, and aspirations guide your exploration at Princeton. Your time and energy are precious resources: use them wisely. That is something I heard all the time during my visits to the McGraw Center where they helped me design a roadmap for my Princeton journey that balances my resources with my priorities. Consider stopping by sometime — they are really nice!
 

Get better at asking for help

If you are like most students at elite universities, asking for help is probably not your forte. Let me be the one to tell you: This is not your fault. In your pre-Princeton era, asking for help probably had a negative connotation. It meant that you were not smart enough or that you were giving up too early. While it certainly helps to persevere through difficult situations and challenge yourself, your college journey will be much more rewarding if you use the resources available to help you thrive. The most successful students in college are not the smartest, but those who have mastered the art of asking for and using help. Instead of suffering from stress, schedule that office hour appointment, join that study group, stop by the writing center, attend that review session, ask your Director of Studies for that extension, or use that P/D/F (also known as PDF, we are permitted to elect a pass/D/fail for completing distribution courses). Tap the resources to support your studies and practice self-care. Remember: Princeton is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself and be thoughtful about how you push yourself, especially in your first year.

Look beyond “the best years”

I emphatically disagree with the idea that college years are supposed to be the best of your life. College can certainly be memorable. You will gain new freedoms and discover things about yourself and the world, while being shielded from the full slate of responsibilities that await you in the outside world, such as taxes, bills and a job. There is something special about this particular moment that is worth tapping into; however, there is no way college can be the best years of everyone’s life. For most, college will be a mixed bag of amazing things you will be glad happened and terrible experiences you hope you never have to endure again. You cannot manufacture your college experience into some unattainable ideal. What you can do is commit to making the most of every day, no matter what life throws at you, and continue hoping that your best years are still ahead of you. 
 

Allow for the past to be present

In Haitian Creole, there is a proverb I love that loosely translates to, “Do not throw away an old pot for a new one.” For most, the college years will bring an assortment of new things: shiny buildings, interesting classmates, fascinating worldviews and exciting opportunities. In this cacophony of newness, you may tend to forget about your life before Princeton. One of the most meaningful decisions you can ever make is not giving up on who you were before college. While I thoroughly enjoy drawing from Princeton’s well of opportunities, the meaningfulness of these experiences has been solidified by the context of who I was before I arrived. I am grateful I brought my parents along and allowed our relationship to evolve to make room for the version of me who goes to college, thinks about the world differently, and has new dreams and aspirations that they will not always understand. I am glad I stayed in touch with my closest friends who always remind me of who I was and what I once stood for. While I give myself permission  to change, I am very grateful for the familiarity, comfort and reassurance that only their presence in my life can provide. 

Challenge the future

While this may feel like a contradictory piece of advice, there are times when ditching the proverbial old pot is the right move. We are not finished projects and never will be, so permit yourself to question your values and aspirations. Whether these questions are personal, professional or spiritual, don't be afraid to explore the possibilities of who you can become or to discover who you really are. Self-discovery can be daunting, but it's always ultimately worth it. Fortunately, there are countless resources at Princeton that aim to support your growth in all of these dimensions. For your questions about your spirituality, you can go to the Office of Religious Life. The Gender and Sexuality Resource Center, the Carl A. Fields Center, and Counseling and Psychological Services can help you explore questions about your background, your identity and how you see yourself as an agent in the world. The Career Center can help you discover exciting new career paths that you never considered or even knew existed. Genuinely challenge your beliefs about yourself and the world by intentionally collecting diverging perspectives from people that you find trustworthy, or at the very least, sensible. Give yourself a genuine shot at changing your own mind. If you move on from old beliefs, you will be glad you allowed yourself to make that leap. If you do not, then you will only grow more confident in your values and principles. Whatever you do, beware of echo chambers. They are comfortable but ultimately hamper growth.

Find the joy

As I write this, I am excited for the fall semester because there are two classes that I am particularly looking forward to. For one, I am taking Swahili 101, capping off the language-learning journey that has been my passion project at Princeton. I am also looking forward to Migration Reporting, a course taught by an Emmy Award-winning journalist that will allow me to explore my interests in migration and storytelling. The initial excitement of the first year can fade quickly as responsibilities, assignments and expectations pile up. However, prioritizing something in my schedule just for myself has been life-changing. Whether it is an extracurricular activity like theater, an academic challenge like learning languages, or meeting with friends and professors I admire, these things fulfill me and keep me going. So, please, remember to leave room for joy and excitement.